Dear Dr. Carrie, Funhouse is described as a brothel, but it looks like no one actually has shifts. Are the escorts at Funhouse really independent sex workers by another name? Both options seem attractive, but I’m not sure where my derriere belongs. What’s the difference? Yours, Curious D.
Dearest D. It’s a fair question, given that most sex workers in New Zealand are independent contractors, even if they work at a brothel. And Funhouse is not a typical brothel.
Personally, I love a good pros/cons list when I have big decisions to make, but I don’t know what a pro looks like for you, so I’ll outline some commonalities and differences. These are specific to Funhouse, and shouldn’t be taken as the rule for working conditions at managed sex work premises in general. Because yes, Funhouse is special.
HOURS / FREEDOM / TIME
Everyone who works at Funhouse has autonomy over their hours. We don’t have ‘shifts’, rather, opening hours and a weekly availability roster, with varying on-call hours determined by each sex worker.
This roster is printed out weekly: the precious piece of paper updated continually, never leaving the custody of Madam Mary, incidentally one of the few people who can decode it. Luckily, you would only have to remember your own availability, and to be easily contactable when on-call.
Kink bookings excluded, no one is chained to the bed here. If someone needs to go off-call, or even cancel an upcoming booking, they can. The obligation is to let Mary know as soon as possible.
And when you’ve taken on a booking, it’s important to arrive early enough that you have time to get ready, because punctuality is important at Funhouse. That is the same for any kind of sex work though – not just here.
This flexible scheduling isn’t hugely different from independent work, although you may have fewer limits as an indie because Funhouse has a closing time. We are not a brothel that stays open to 3am.
PAY AND SERVICES
At Funhouse, you can decide what services you do or don’t offer. This includes extras in sensual massages. But whether it’s GFE bookings, BDSM, bi-doubles, Porn Star Experience, or massage extras, all rates are non-negotiable.
If you were an indie, you would set your own rates.
COSTS
At Funhouse, we pay for professional photoshoots with our trusted in-house photographer and also advertising. We promote our escorts and dommes on our various platforms.
We provide beautiful, luxurious and safe spaces to work from, as well as fresh linen and towels. We also have an extensive collection of clothing, sex toys, BDSM equipment and safer sex supplies. You can bring you own! But all you need is your brilliant self, the make-up you like, and lingerie.
As an independent – unless you exclusively work outcalls – you would have to provide your own space to work from. This could be hotel rooms, or an incall apartment you rent and furnish longer-term. This can be a significant initial investment with precarious returns, but some sex workers do prefer their own space.
As an independent sex worker you’d also have to source a photographer and pay for photoshoots. While selfies can be effectively incorporated into marketing, quality photographs are important in the modern sex work landscape. Advertising is another cost you’ll need to cover, including website costs if you want one (recommended, as social media is prone to censorship).
For a website, you’ll need to find a webhost that allows sex work related content, as anti-prostitution laws in the USA have targeted web providers. Highly unfair, given sex work is decriminalised in New Zealand!
You can visit NZPC for advice on all of the above, but the takeaway is that the expenses for independent sex workers can be high.
BEING FOUND BY THE CLIENT YOU WANT
At Funhouse, you can have input into how you are advertised, and run your own X account if you want one. However you don’t liaise with advertising platforms, design ads, or write copy (unless you want to write copy).
Advertising brings work, but it is also work in itself. If you are working independently, remember to factor all the ‘non-bedroom’ hours into your rates, and your schedule.
CLIENT COMMUNICATIONS
At Funhouse, flirting and conversing with clients takes place strictly within the space of a booking. All communication outside bookings is via Madam Mary. That doesn’t mean you are left in the dark before a booking – Mary is an excellent facilitator.
If you prefer to message back and forth with a potential client before you meet, or have a phone conversation first, independent work may be a better fit.
Note too that while some clients prefer to set things up over email, more will call or text. You’ll need to be savvy at picking up the phone as an indie.
If you spend your days in lectures for example, you might find leaving Mary to arrange dates a better fit.
LOCATION LOCATION
Funhouse is best known as an incall venue, as we are central, with beautiful custom interiors, giant beds, cosy and discreet. But we do also offer an outcall service to Central Wellington hotels. Outcalls can be a lot of fun but are entirely optional.
If you are a girl who likes a trail of lovers at every port – in other words, you want to tour – indie is the better option. Funhouse is Wellington-based. We are the port.
SAFETY, BOUNDARIES AND CONSENT
Whether you work independently or at Funhouse, you can always say no to a booking or client or to a particular service, even if you’ve already started the booking. That’s your right under the Prostitution Reform Act, which is always upheld at Funhouse, along with extra support if you need it.
No-one works alone in the Funhouse building with clients. And there are also safety protocols in place for outcalls.
As a sex worker, it’s always a good idea to brush up on your digital privacy and security. At Funhouse, we have our own processes in place, and personal information isn’t sent anywhere, such as to third-party advertising platforms.
If you are thinking about going independent, we highly recommend meeting with NZPC to discuss both in-person and online safety.
TRAINING
You don’t have to be a novice sex worker to join Funhouse, but if you are, you’ll find a welcome, safe, friendly place to learn and to thrive in sex work. There is no deep end here.
If you are new to sex work and think you might be better suited to independent work, do visit NZPC, because linking up with other sex workers is the best thing you can do.
COMMUNITY
Working at Funhouse, connection with other sex workers is fast and free-flowing. The worker lounge is a cosy, bustling hive. This is especially helpful when starting out, when it can feel lonely if you are not out as a sex worker.
Everyone at Funhouse is welcoming and generous with their knowledge, sex worker humour is kinda the best kept secret (ssshhhh), the kitchen has snacks, and the Funhouse cats may adopt you.
You can be part of a thriving sex work community however you choose to work, but it can be more socially isolating working independently, especially at the beginning. As an independent sex worker you can still make connections with other workers, including working relationships if you offer threesomes or doubles. It might just take a bit more time to find and build those relationships.