The days are heating up, the nights are full of longing, and that can only mean one thing – New Zealand’s annual Summer shutdown is fast approaching.
Santa is coming, and he’s bringing holy nights, the Die Hard franchise, very short party dresses and prosecco.
I’m for all of that, but I’m also a romantic at heart, and that means the main thing I love about Christmas is connection, hot sex and intimacies of all kinds. It’s a chocolate box of roleplay opportunities. Have you been good? There’s a role play for that. Have you been very, very naughty? There’s a punishment for that. I’m not talking Santa getting handsy with his elves, although on second thought, that could be cute. The elves here only look innocent.
Secular or divine, kinky or vanilla, there’s a roleplay with your name on it. Expand the scenarios to include a boss getting her way with a subordinate at the office party, or a youthful future Miss Claus making a vigorous Nick Claus prove to her the true scope of his abilities. Perhaps a MILF or girl next door back from uni, inviting her neighbour over for a festive snack. Bring back milkman scenarios even – if Christmas isn’t a time for the classics and cream, when is?
Of course, puns and roleplay are entirely optional. If your social calendar is overflowing, know that we are a haven of self-care and time out. Our playlist is carol-free – but we welcome chocolate (no matter the season).
And because I love experience gifts as much as I love threesomes, this is your irregular reminder that yes, you can book a session at Funhouse Wellington with your partner.
In fact, it doesn’t even have to be a threesome – you could book her a one-on-one just for her. Be aware that in either case, it won’t be a surprise gift, as when bookings are made on behalf of other people, we do need to talk to them. It’s an informed consent thing, important so that everyone has a really, really good time.
Whether you are booking for yourself as an end-of-the-year release, or a Christmas gift to share, note that while we are open during party season and mostly open over the Christmas period, we will be closed 3-4 days once Christmas Day arrives. Keep an eye on social media and our website for details, and call Mary if in any doubt. She is the source of all knowledge, as always.
And if you are looking to gift your favourite sex workers a small Christmas token of affection, but are not sure where to start, ask them, or ask Mary to ask them for you. Funhouse is a pressure-free zone, though. If it’s unwrapping you’re after, it can always be us.
Finally, a Summer PSA – our roster may also look a little different over January, as our Funhouse ladies slip away for their own beach escapades at times. Whether you are looking for a relaxed GFE, a sensual nude massage, or an extended Domme booking, book in advance to ensure your holiday escapes can reach their full potential.