Why choose us?

Why choose Funhouse over any other agency or provider in Wellington?

Here are a few of the reasons Funhouse stands out as your best choice for discreet, authentic, sexy fun.

With my 27 years of experience in the sex industry, I, Madam Mary, have built an unrivalled reputation as an industry leader and a fabulous woman to work with. My sixth sense for selecting the right women to work at Funhouse means the clients always leave on cloud nine. The ladies I take on must have a combination of attractiveness, authenticity, personality and a genuine desire to be a sex worker.  They must be warm, engaging and able to hold an interesting conversation and make someone feel at ease.

My reputation for providing a safe and happy place to work means Funhouse attracts a very high number of women wanting to work here, which gives me the luxury of only taking the crème de la crème – around five per cent – of those who apply.

At Funhouse our goal is to make you feel like the most important person in the world while you are here.  The ladies are all trained in the magical ways of engaging, teasing, tempting and fulfilling your utmost desires, but they also naturally care for the people around them, whether they are new clients or favourite regulars, and of course each other.

We aim for you to always be greeted with smiles and affection and leave feeling like a million dollars.

Funhouse rooms are sumptuous, luxurious and, exquisitely clean, nationally renowned as the nicest premises in the industry. You will feel pampered and looked after on all levels.  You will never see another client, as every arrival and departure is timed and co-ordinated to keep you totally private.

We also strive to be as eco-friendly as possible by maximising recycling, avoiding chemicals and minimising energy use.

You will get a very quick response to your inquiry during opening hours.

Our ladies are on call not on shift, so they only come in for confirmed bookings.  I encourage proactive communication – if a lady is not feeling 100% on the day I will try to reorganise the booking as I don’t want you to experience anything less than premium! Similarly I expect fast and transparent communication from clients, for example if you are feeling unwell or running late.

At Funhouse I like to have ladies who stay as long as they are happy to provide this service. I have one lady who has been with me for over 20 years!  I would rather have ladies who work smarter, not harder – a lower volume of clients is better in the long term.  Funhouse works on a high repeat rate which is how the tiered pricing system works. High repeat clientele means higher hourly rate (although currently we are being sensitive to the increased cost of living).

The real secret to what makes Funhouse special is that the ladies have 100% confidence in being well looked after. They know that I have their backs no matter what and truly put their wellbeing before anything else. I never encourage ladies to take a booking if they are not feeling up to it, in fact I have been known to talk them out of it if I can sense they’ve had a long day! This feeling of security, along with the safe, happy and supportive environment that I provide for the ladies to work in, is what allows these very special women to provide the very best service to you.

I am also very honest with clients, if someone is for instance a first timer or has specific requests or desires, I will always put them with the best most suitable lady for the job.  I will also not try and oversell.  A first timer who thinks a bi-double porn star experience sounds wise will have me breaking down all the reasons why that might be overwhelming for a first-time experience.

Funhouse is a carefully curated environment that vigilantly maintains a high standard for all of our people, ladies and clients alike.

MM xx